


Lauren

by hxrricanenic



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Its implied, Mentions of Sex, Overdosing, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, emily is in fact a lesbian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hxrricanenic/pseuds/hxrricanenic
Summary: she's lauren reynolds. and she's getting sick of it.
Relationships: Ian Doyle/Emily Prentiss
Kudos: 12





	Lauren

**Author's Note:**

> there's only mentions of emily & ian's relationship, nothing major.  
> lowercase is intended!

lauren reynolds. 

that was her name. nothing else. her past didn’t matter anymore. she had to live second by second, minute by minute. that was the only way she would survive. 

sitting in that dimly lit dive bar on the outskirts of boston, that was the only thought running through her mind. _lauren reynolds, lauren reynolds, lauren reynolds._

and as the stranger she would grow to know over the next few months sat across from her, she knew who she was. who she would become. 

he was charming, a flirt. anyone looking in from the outside would see them as a perfect match, but not to her. she would have to ultimately flirt back, get him to trust her, but there would be nothing serious. that wasn’t part of the plan. 

as they conversed, she began to zone out a bit, focusing more on _him_. he was kind, his eyes hiding more than he would ever admit. truthfully, if he wasn’t a weapons dealer with law enforcement after him, and if she wasn’t more into women, she could imagine some sort of future with him. a house in europe, two kids, the so-called perfect family. but of course, this was real life. there would be no house in europe, no kids to look after. 

or so she thought. 

***

it was fine in the beginning, being in europe with ian. she’d travel with him, helping him with business. they’d sometimes take weekend trips to get away from it all, staying in the countryside on one of his many properties. she didn’t necessarily enjoy being intimate with him, but she had to. after all, it was really just an act. and it would soon be over, hopefully. 

but the first time she had felt her heart flutter when he looked at her, she knew. she had to get out. she couldn’t just fall in love with a weapons dealer, it would end terribly. and he didn’t even know who she really was, that the lauren he had fallen in love with didn’t actually exist. 

when they finally settled down in italy, she saw her chance to get out. she’d call clyde every few days, pleading with him to just arrest doyle. there was no good reason that her team couldn’t take him. but clyde had other plans. “a few more days,” he had promised, claiming they were getting closer. but he’d been saying this for weeks. she turned to tsia, eventually, but even that was useless. tsia would say the same as clyde, confirming the thought lurking in the back of her mind. she wasn’t leaving anytime soon. 

to her, there was no end in sight. he wanted to marry her, have her raise declan. she knew deep down that this couldn’t go on for much longer. she needed an out. she didn’t want to be lauren reynolds anymore. 

every morning, her first thought was “this could be the last day.” and it never was. it was getting to be too much, she couldn’t keep going on anymore. the stress of it all had finally caught up to her. 

and as she laid in the guest bed, hidden away from ian’s prying eyes, she let her tears fall. reaching into the drawer of the nightstand, she grabbed the bottle of pills and took one. and another. and another. she took enough that she knew would kill her. and that was okay. she didn’t want to be lauren anymore, and now she wouldn’t have to be. she wouldn’t even have to be emily, a whole other life that she was never quite sure if she wanted to go back to. this was better for her. for everyone.

clyde would get her message eventually, or perhaps he would figure out something was wrong. but she didn’t care, she wanted them to find her when it was too late. the letter on the table would explain everything. 

“it’s for the best,” her mind reassured her. she recited it softly under her breath until she couldn’t anymore. 

her eyes drifted shut, heart slowly stopping. 

lauren reynolds was dead. 

***

they caught ian doyle the next morning.

**Author's Note:**

> yes i ended it like that okay my bad  
> my tumblr is @sunlightgalaxy where all of my other work is posted!


End file.
